Have you ever started a conversation with someone, and then the silence creeps in?
You’re both just sitting there, not sure what to say next.
It can feel super awkward, right? We’ve all been there! But don’t worry—we can get through this together.
Today, I’m going to teach you how to keep the conversation flowing and avoid those uncomfortable pauses. Let’s get started!
Why Do Conversations Die Out?
Conversations usually die out because one person gives a short answer, and the other doesn’t know what to say next. But the secret to avoiding awkward silences is simple—you just need to ask good follow-up questions!
Not sure what that means? That’s okay. I’ll go over some follow-up questions you can use, no matter who started the conversation. Whether you initiated the conversation or responded to someone else, these questions will help keep the other person engaged and talking.
1. Ask the Right Questions: Open-Ended vs. Closed-Ended Questions
There are two main types of questions:
- Closed-Ended Questions – Can be answered with just one word, like “yes” or “no.” These can lead to dead-end conversations if not followed up.
- Open-Ended Questions – Encourage longer responses and deeper conversations. They often start with ‘what,’ ‘how,’ ‘why,’ or ‘tell me about…’
Examples:
Closed-Ended Questions:
- “Have you seen that movie?”
- “Are you from around here?”
Open-Ended Questions:
- “What did you think of that movie?”
- “How did you end up living in this city?”
How to Use Them Together:
Practice 1:
A: Have you seen that movie?
B: Yes.
A: Cool! What did you think of it?
B: OMG, that was my favorite part! I can’t believe that happened…
Practice 2:
A: Are you from around here?
B: No. A: Interesting! How did you end up living in this city?
2. React and Add Your Own Thoughts
People love to talk about themselves, but they don’t want to feel interrogated. If they’re not asking you questions, don’t assume they aren’t interested—they might just be struggling to find the right words. Help them out by sharing more about yourself!
For example, if they mention why they moved to a new city, you can share your experience or thoughts on the topic. This keeps the conversation balanced and fun.
Practice:
A: This coffee shop always smells amazing, doesn’t it?
B: Yes! I love their iced vanilla lattes—they’re my go-to drink!
A: Ooh, that sounds amazing, but I prefer a hot americano. The stronger, the better!
3. Use ‘Echoing’ to Encourage More Talking
Echoing means repeating part of what the other person said to encourage them to explain more. It shows that you’re listening and interested!
Practice:
B: I had a crazy day at work.
A: Oh wow, a crazy day? What happened?
B: I’ve been working here for 10 years.
A: Wow, 10 years? That’s incredible! What do you like most about working here?
4. Bring Up a Related Topic
If a topic starts to die out, smoothly transition into something related.
Example: Travel to Food
A: Have you ever traveled outside the country?
B: Yeah! I went to Italy last year. It was amazing.
A: Oh, that sounds incredible! What was your favorite part?
B: Definitely the food. The pasta and pizza were unbelievable.
A: I bet! Italian food is so good. Did you try anything unique?
5. Use Conversation Starters When Stuck
If the silence creeps in, try restarting the conversation with a general topic:
- “Have you seen any good movies lately?”
- “What do you usually do for fun?”
- “If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?”
How to Handle Silence If It Happens
Even with these tips, silence can still happen—and that’s okay!
Here’s what to do:
✅ Stay calm – A few seconds of silence is normal. Don’t panic!
✅ Smile – This keeps things comfortable.
✅ Comment on something around you – For example: “This place has a cool vibe! Have you been here before?” ✅ Use humor – If it feels natural, joke about the silence: “Well, that was a dramatic pause!”
Homework: Practice!
Let’s see how you’d keep a conversation going. Drop your answers in the comments!
- “I just finished reading an interesting book!”
- “I’m thinking about learning a new skill.”
- “I had such a busy weekend!”
And that’s it! Now you have the tools to avoid awkward silences and keep conversations flowing naturally.
Download my free PDF guide How to Avoid Awkward Silences in Conversation for detailed examples and additional practice exercises to help you improve your conversation skills.
See you in the next lesson!
